Peeps...and NOT of the marshmallow variety

Friends, there’s nothing better than friends…

I had a cartoon on tape called Rose Petal and Friends. She sang this song in the beginning of the show, when the magic in the garden took place and all the flowers would come to life as her friends, Violet, Daffodil, Lilly…and as many little ones do I watched it OVER and OVER again…but today that song popped in my head and rightfully so.

My mommy used to say to me when we get into fights that I care more for my friends then I did my family. And maybe being adopted and trying to find my identity growing up had something to do with that, but none the less my friends ARE my family (BTW my FAMILY are my FRIENDS too, sometimes people cant say that as well…so don’t get it twisted…lol)

This past week has really opened my eyes to the loving people I get to have in my life. It also throws into sharp contrast just how crippling my depression got in “The Dark Time” as I call it (after my Mom passed, then up until I quit AT&T) I tried every possible way to run from my old friends, friends I’ve hurt, or ignored for whatever reason, friends I was jealous of, or trying to chase people who I THOUGHT were my friends. But this past week has showed me that I have some of the most AWESOME friends and my true peeps have been here all along, and nothing- NOTHING has or will change in the way we care about each other. I was so closed, so afraid of having to explain what I thought was my lowly existence, to be embarrassed that I’ve done nothing in my life but run away from pain to even let the love in…

BTW I am BAWLING as I write this.

But that’s over now, things are clear. I have salt of the earth people in my life now…all the rif-raff is gone and there is just us…my peeps.

We talk about it all the time…I just talked about it today…how its been a minn in some cases but TRUE peeps never go away. No matter how far apart we may drift, we always come back to each other in the end.

Seeing 3 people at the store, going and grabbing a drink and seeing more at the pub, going to Moses and spending time with the goodness I’ve been blessed to be apart of, going out to lunch today then ending the day making plans for more fun…at every turn I see someone that I love and that I have missed dearly, no matter if it’s been since last summer, a few years ago, or considerably longer…people that have never left my heart.

I know you have peeps like this in your life…and just know if you think you don’t, you are wrong…you have me J

Yea I said it.

The cold never bothered me anyway...

So this is the night to blog...but all I want to do is watch Frozen because I don't know all the words yet...I am in LOVE with that move right now...it makes me think of my sister and I (She would be Ana and I would be Elsa) and it chokes me up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

Yep I'm a Disney girl...till I die...Cinderella's glass slipper is forever tattooed on my left ankle (ahem...the very foot she lost the shoe on the begin with- go big or go home) That movie was my very first gift I had ever received...old school clam shell case with the VHS inside...still have it and will never let it go! Thank god for DVD though casue it was lookin kinda whack on the playback (hey that rhymed)

I remember when I was younger, bout 21, 22...there was this girl I worked with named Angie that told me that I was TOO Disney, that guys won't like that and I'll need to grow out of it eventually...

SHA-RIGHT?!??!!!

But I will have to say that now a days it's much cooler to be a 'nerd' in whatever respect that may be, Disney, Star Wars, Cosplay etc...I mean some of your friends may still look at you funny when you go off on a tangent about how Ichigo was trying to save Rukia from execution in the Soul Society and how he had to fight off all the captains and senior officers of the 13 Court Guard Squads only after he just learned his Banki release...oops sorry did I loose you for a sec....ANYWAYS now one can embrace their inner fandom with out regret because there are a million others out there who love the same crazy fun stuff you do...and we all can meet up at our favorite Con...(lé sigh...I wish I was going to comic con this year...but even if I did I have no outfit planned and that is just unacceptable!)

So NO Angie...I will never change what I like regardless of how childish it may seem...I will never not be a Disney, Lord of the Rings, Vampires, Star Wars, Video game, Superhero, cartoon loving fan girl who just wants to geek out on her favorite things.

Now excuse me I've got some finishing touches to go on the songs from Frozen...

"IN SUMMMMEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!"

Yea I said it!

Just start writing

I made an alert on my phone to just start writing and it just went off

Lets see, LOTSA happenings with my Hawks and free agency, a plane is missing in the Pacific ocean yet cell phones can be triangulated by our government, etc etc...but more on that topical stuff later

Lets talk about what I'm currently baffled by, and that's the world of online dating...

So I haven't jumped into this scene in a minn, and I was feeling kinda lonely. A trigger went off when I was at my friends parents 40th wedding anniversary where I realized that as much as I value and hold true to my independence...I will never be 40 years with someone, other than myself.

Ive pretty much let the ship a sail on me ever finding a mate, its just not going to happen because Im the exact person who deserves true love, like true princess-style love with the romance and the flowers and the perfect and the longevity, and since that Disney -ish NEVER happens in real life...well there you go, aaaand I'm resigned. Whatev... I have a life full of freedom and friendship and not many can say they have that either.

But those damn triggers...so I start thinking...there's GOT to be someone out there for me. There are guys who like big girls, whole sites dedicated to us BBW's...and plus I'm hella cute and SUPER funny...I should be able to find some decent guy with my ONE requirement (that being a J-O-B) Right? Right?

WRONGGGGG!!!! Wrong-ady-wrong-wrong with an extra side of WRONG!

Now don't get ME wrong (lol)...if Im ever looking for a quicky, I know where to turn, and that may work in a pinch, but that's not want I want. I want my life to change, like I hear so many people say theirs does when they meet their love. I want the stars and the moon and the flowers and the like...is that too much to ask? (I know, I know it is really, as I live in fairy tale land but like I said...WHATEV)

I've spent so much time holding back and not putting myself out there, being TOO independent for fear of getting hurt that its actually hurting more now. The only reason why Im alone is because...Im alone. Sorr,y got emotionally sidetracked there for a minn...

But GOOD GOD man...ok first of all. DONT put a picture up of you and another girl...I don't care if shes your sister - not ideal. Second...why the hell do men think that girls WANT to see a picture of your junk? Guys are visual, I get that but NO you don't get a pic of my girls right out the gate either...if you are looking for just that I got a few web sites you can check out...on the free-free, ya dig?

But not all of them are looking for a wham-bam-ty-ma'am (it sure seems like it though) The ones that you WANT to message you back never do, or they are SO persistent that it actually turns you off. Im for absolute positive that its the same on the other side of the fence, but minus the girls sending their ta ta pics IMMED...but u never know....

So my adventure will continue down a path I've never taken the time to go down before...hopefully to find a gem in this sea of...of...not gems...I mean seriously as flattering as it might "seem" to be, keep on movin if all you want is a booty call.

Yep, I said it!







 

SEAHAWKS!!!! How I became a 12th Fan!

I am VERY passionate about our Seahawks, to say the least. (and kinda a little pissed that spell check wants me to type it "Sea-Hawks" get it right!) But it wasn't always like that...

I would say I officially jumped on the bandwagon AFTER we went to the Superbowl. I recall my father teaching me about football when I was really young, basically saying to me, "If they get the ball past that yellow line then they get 4 more tries" Simple enough, now I wont be COMPLETELY bored. As time went on I leaned more towards basketball, and football turned into something my BFF's hubby watched on Saturdays (college fan) and that we had cook-offs for come February for the Superbowl. Every time I would ask "Who do we want to win now?" I was clueless, cept for that 1st down marker, I at least knew what that was all about.

Years later a home team made it to the big show? Wha? I might want to start paying closer attention. However given my ADD tendencies (ohh look at that shiny thing over there!!!) when we lost, I lost interest again. Yep, fair weather fan sure enough. But then my very very VERY close buddy, brother as I call him now, showed me what it was like to REALLY be the 12th Man in 2010.

Regardless of winning or loosing, he was tuned into every game. Rain sleet or shine he was there or glued to the TV. He has his hat for the "rally times" and his gear for the games he got to go to. Preseason, regular season, post, it didn't matter, if the Hawks were playing that meant he was going to loose his voice and drink some beers. His excitement was infectious to say the least and even when it was just him and me sitting on the couch, it was a BLAST.

My little knowledge was slowly gaining speed. 2010's Hasselbeck was out (but didn't that dude lead us to the Superbowl?) and talks of this new guy from MN (Hey! I've got family out there!) named Tarvaris Jackson looked hopeful. However it was a lack luster season and I think that I was the ONLY one who gave Jackson props because even with a torn pectoral muscle, he still gave it his all. But it always nagged in the back of my mind, this is a business (queue "Any Given Sunday") 

So 2012...new guy, Russell Wilson...hummmm wasn't some guy named Flynn supposed to QB? (Oh well, Any Given Sunday)


A loss, 2 wins! Woo! Now having a bit more knowledge then just that damn yellow line, I couldn't wait to get together with my peeps, drink beer, eat great food, laugh, cheer, talk smack to other teams, show our pride etc etc etc. So I started asking those who knew football some of the particulars... my knowledge grew and grew and my excitement ever more rapidly. 

Then week 3 of 2012 vs Green Bay happened...simultaneous possession...ref strike over...that right there is where I shot up to attention.

The girl who played with her Barbie dolls growing up now can't stop listening to sports radio.

Here in the PAC northwest we have always been the outsiders, not really in tune with the rest of the country (You know, us "damn tree huggin recycling hippies". Known only for planes, computers and coffee) So when I started really tuning into the NFL, ESPN and the like, I realized something...regardless of what the Seahawks did, NO attention. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero. REALLY? Did we not make it to the playoffs with one of the best rookies of the year? Does Beastmode not exist outside of the borders of WA state? Are we forever in the shadow of a lost Superbowl and bad calls by the zebras? I guess so. Well now that just fired up this competitive girls nature something FIERCE! Then it became about us, and only us. Who needs the rest of the NFL? I AM the12th Man. My peeps, my friends dogs, kids, cars, allllll decked out in blue and green! The term "We All We Got We All We Need" rings out true, and if the rest of the country doesn't want to come celebrate with us, FINE! We know we are the best, only need to prove it to ourselves.

But let me tell you, that was a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggg off season. ALL of us were itching for some football, some payback. A chance to tell the rest of the posers "Hey we ain't done yet!" 

I always said that if the Hawks were even going to come close to the AMAZING finish they had last season, then I'm a happy happy 12..so far to date that has been SO exceeded.

This season has been AMAZING, but its not done yet, only getting geared up, poised to just take off! There is a spirit in the air, almost like that feeling right before you jump off a diving board, the anticipation I guess. The knowledge that we are a great city and our team is hungry for it, hungry to bring us home that trophy. We allll love Pete (and his gum) and what he has done for the organization and for us all, we are connected, we are one (that's the hippie coming out) Every press conference I see, or interview I hear, every single one of those players has so much passion and just lives in the moment. Its hard not to get on board, the momentum is palpable. Was it a sad loss in San Fran this past weekend, yes. Were there some sketchy games in the beginning, yes. But every single point, every pass, every tackle broken has been hard fought and worth it, worth it till the very end. Give me your stats and your rings, give me your history and your "well back then" stories, none if it matters if you don't have heart and if you don't play as a team, and the Hawks are it.

So that is how and why I'm a 12th Man FO LIFE! Don't get me wrong, I still know NOTHING about football, but what I do know is that I love it. I love the pride in your home team, the fellowship with your peeps and time spent together. I love the superstitions, the analysis from sportscasters and other talking heads. The drama, the suspense, the details, the business, the Americana! There is something tangible and exceptional about this sport. It lives in the moment right there with us and it is a wonderful feeling to be a fan and a part of...even more so when you are born and raised in Seattle. THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD!

The Superbowl is in our sights, I can taste it.

Yeah...I said it.

So where the heck should I start???

How many times have I started this sentence. For reals, like 15, maybe 20.

I want to start this blog. I want to talk about anything and everything. I believe I have good insight, strong opinions and I get very excited about the things and the people I love.

So why am I having such a hard time finding a place to start. Should I start with my intentions, or the topics I want to cover. Should I go into my history, get into the details...blah blah snnooooonzzzee fest 2013.

I suppose I doubt myself because when it comes to a lot of whats on my mind, I'm a total novice. I'm not versed in stats or have had read shelves of books. I'm not that good of a writer and my grammar is atrocious. I think its perfectly human to get caught up in what others will think, that they will judge us and rate us and push us down to lift them selves up (even MORE so on the internet) So then we don't say whats really in our heart. I mean why would anybody care what I have to say anyways right...

But I believe that what I have to say is profound, what anyone has to say is profound really otherwise it wouldn't be said. 

Then I got to thinking and I looked up the definition of profound 

Nail. Head. Hit dead on.

So that is going to be this Blog. Its going to be intense and sincere. It will be heart felt and cleaver, perceptive and thoughtful. It will be great, radical and perceptive. Sports, movies, topical issues, things that move, things that scare, things that lift up and things that breakdown...what ever it is, it will be profound.

Yeah...I said it